Tips For Long Distance Lovers
by Chuck Winston
365Gay.com Love & Sexuality Writer
Keeping the relationship alive when miles separate you can be a real test of your commitment and compatibility. You can really sharpen your skills as you develop what it takes to keep the love alive.
Unfortunately, sometimes relationships that would have worked beautifully under other circumstances can sometimes fail when great distances are involved, simply because the partners don't have the skills to keep the relationship afloat amidst the challenging difficulties involved.
The following tips are designed to help you to develop the skills that are most essential in the survival of long-distance love.
Communicate Effectively
It's common for couples involved in an LDR to want to gloss over relationship problems because they get to communicate so little, they don't want their precious exchanges to be conflict-ridden, etc.
It may initially seem like a good idea to keep all communications sweet and happy, but in the long run, a relationship may deteriorate if serious issues are ignored.
It's a better idea to openly discuss any problems and keep the relationship moving forward, than to keep it on a more superficial level for the sake of a peaceful appearance. If something is bothering you, bring it up, resolve it, and move on!
Be Romantic
When you do encounter disagreements, however, it will be more difficult to make up when you don't see one another in person, as you have fewer opportunities to reconnect. It's a good idea to take an active role in keeping the romance and sweetness alive. This makes tough times easier and strengthens the relationship in general. There are several ways to cultivate romance across the distance:
Send eCards.
You can find hundreds of cute and creative cards online to email to your beloved! Put your own personal message in, and brighten their day. Send Love Letters.
Whether via email or 'snail mail', sending a love letter is always a great idea. If you use the latter, be sure to indulge in beautiful stationery and be careful with your penmanship. Also, send Care Packages.
Sending a surprise gift in the mail is an excellent way to say, "I'm thinking of you", and goes a long way toward helping the two of you feel connected.
Use your imagination!
Communicate Often
For some people, it's easy to stay in touch every day or so, and remembering to call requires little thought. For others, it's difficult to spend the money on phone bills or the time calling and writing. It's important to make the time, however, and email is also a wonderful option.
Snail mail is also relatively inexpensive and a great option for those who don't have computer access all of the time. The important thing is to remember to communicate on a consistent basis if at all possible, and keep in touch with what is going on in one another's lives.
Be Honest With Your Partner-And Yourself!
It's also very important to check in with yourself and with your sweetie where your feelings are concerned. If you're feeling not-quite-right about the whole situation, bring it up with your beloved and see if you can work on the problems.
If you are feeling attraction to others, doubts about the relationship, or something else equally serious, it's important to be open and honest with your partner and yourself about these things. If your relationship is not meant to last, your partner deserves to know; if it is meant to be, it has a better chance of surviving if the two of you can discuss important issues like these. And if the two of you don't make it, at least you know sooner (rather than too late) that it wasn't meant to last.