Lesbian Poetry

CAN I COME OUT NOW?

This poem was written one recent sleepless night when I was sweating out results of a pelvic ultrasound. It is also about having to go back into the closet after ill health forced me to move from the SF Bay Area where I was a known Bisexual activist to GLBT phobic Manteca, CA. BTW, the test results were negative.

All I want is for you to hold me.
I want to crawl inside of you and you inside of me
I want to hide away from the world there and never
----------come out.
I want to die.
But not like this.
I want to live.
But not like this.
I want.
I want.
I want.
Like one of those barnacles we heard about on NPR
Imprisoned by my shell,
I lay on my back endlessly glued in one place.
Not my legs, but my mind is kicking and flailing
----------hoping to attract something,
Any,
Source of sustenance.
Barnacles don't know any better.
They are what they are.
But what is my excuse?
I want.
I want.
I want.