Lesbian Poetry

Me

Confusion and frustration
Have slept with me
ate with me
lived with me
I can't remember when they have abandoned me
I am my mother's only daughter
her poster child
a well loved child.

Love fought endless battles
with the confusion in my mind
confusion always won

They didn't know what to do.

I was my teacher's pride and joy
the neighborhood princess
my family's trophy child.

No one knew

They didn't know that when
other princesses blushed
at the soft, gentle touch
of a prince's hand
I was repulsed by it.
They didn't know that I am
secretly and shamefully
excited by the soft, red pout
of a woman's lips.
I yearn to caress
the firm, perfectly shaped body of a woman.

For years
I cursed myself.
Why wasn't I normal?
Why couldn't I see beauty in a prince?
Shame turned to guilt
Guilt borne rage
Rage soared
Tumbled
Pounded
My heart like a giant.

They don't know the nights I spent hating me

They don't know my pain
I feel deep inside
that boils into spasms of panic
always suffocating me.

They don' know how it feels.

I walk around in a world of contraries
a world that hugs you with one hand
and stab you with another;
a world that feeds you with one hand
and choke you with another;
a world that quickly smiles with you
but whose heart swells with contempt
every time I get too close;
a world that gives freedom
but only in the prisons it creates;

Mama always said "I love you"
but a minute later swears
condemnation and "ostrasization"
on any relative of hers
who mingle or entangle in such kind.
So how can I tell mama dearest
that I too deviate from societal written values

Babies are murdered
women are shot
men are butchered
but no one cares
until I choose to love one on my own.

---------------------------- Crystal Morris